Sexual Abuse

I have what I consider complicated thoughts about sex. On the one hand I like it and always want more of it, but on the other...the part I generally don't tell my partners about is I also view sex as somthing very dirty. I don't like certain activities during sex. Now, I've talked to some friends, (Mainly just asking what they liked) and found that no one else seems to have this problem...I've had it for awhile I just ignore it. If I'm not falling straight into bed with some one then I go with out it for a very long time and just kind of shut down my sexual drive. The other day I was looking at those silly ink blot tests with a friend of mine, and when I said one looked like the hat of the pope, he gave me his opinion that either I was molested by some one in the clergy (unlikely becouse I never went to church.) or some one near me. (this was his opinon based on several of my other answers about lots of the blots looking like monsters...) I shrugged it off and didn't think about it again until today when I'm sitting at work and something flashed across my mind. When I was younger and my parents were busy with their book store, their friend used to let me go play in her van with her, she was their age, so...thirty ish while I was 6 or 7. That didn't bother me, what bothered me was a memory (at least I think it was.) of Her in the bathtub waving me closer to talk. I tried to think more on it but that's all I can remember. So I looked up some stuff on sexual abuse. I think I may just be imagining things, I mean...I don't really think this woman (who was my friend) would have abused me. But then, sometimes the thought of abuse will arouse me. So now I'm all worried and confused. Is there any links or way for me (other than going to a doctor) to know if I was abused when I was younger? Wouldn't I remember it?
Um, any advice would be appricated or links or anything really. Please and thank you
Kataleen