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KOM2002 (question)  Depressed over lost boy friend and grandma

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reply ** Re: Depressed over lost boy friend and grandma , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 23 Jul 2006 07:57
question Depressed over lost boy friend and grandma , ****** , 21 Jul 2006 12:18
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Depressed over lost boy friend and grandma
From: ******
Date: Fri, 21 Jul 2006 12:18:37 +0200
Language: English

 


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question
Please can you help? I have a horrible {relationship?} problem. I desperately need your advice. I am 18 years of age however the roots of my problem lie deep in the past.

Problem is this:
When I was in primary school I fell in love with someone called Ian.
But then when it came too high school, he got sent to a private all boy's school in Manchester and I got sent to the local comprehensive.
I thought I'd NEVER see him EVER again and despaired.
Around about the same time my Grandmother of whom I was VERY close to died. She practically raised me.
Because of all these things(the death of my Grandma, the loss of Ian ) I began to feel very depressed.
Then I made a TERRIBLE mistake:
Somedays I felt so low I found it almost impossible to think about the future and sometimes couldn't find the will-power to get up in the mornings.I started to refuse to go to school as I felt so low. I'd been bullied VERY VERY badly at the primary school i went to (before I moved to the one Ian was at)which also made me quite nervous of people and scared of school too which made me terrified of High school.
I refused to go to High school on-and-off for the first three years by which time I was REALLY REALLY very behind in my work.
At the end of the third year I then refused to go to school altogether as I couldn't cope any more with my life. I was SEVERELY depressed and wasn't thinking logically. I ended up having 5 measly hours of home tuition per week, for the next two years which should have been spent in school. Unsurprisingly I then failed ALL my GCSEs (apart from getting a ‘C’ In English) I feel so awful! I can’t believe I let this happen.I have then sat at home for the past two years and done nothing.

However this is my problem:
I still REALLY really love ian.the thing is I did have brief contact with him a few years ago and recieved comformation that BACK THEN he liked me.But he didn't know about me missing school back then. you see I sent him a valentine's card saying 'I think you're the most lovely person in the universe and always will no matter what!However now I just don't know what to
. The thing is I'm terrified because believe it or not he's actually looking for me He went down my lane and turned around in the drive. I've also seen him riding his bike outside my house. I just don't know what to do, it's only a matter of time before he finds me. But the thing is he's studying 'A' levels at a top sixth form college. And I .....will have to go on an Entry level course and learn really basic stuff like how to cook, use public transport etc(basically for absolute dim-wits)
He'll NEVER EVER IN A MILLION BILLION YEARS be interested in me now. He's in a different league to me. He's so clever---and I’m not! but this is killing me. I wish I could be with him more than anything in the world but as soon as he finds out I’m on an Entry level course, he’ll NEVER EVER be interested in me now.
Also it's inevitable that i'll bump into him whilst out and about anyway.So I cannot run away from this problem. If I ignore him then he'll think I'm not interested i him--, (when I am…and it would break my heart to do this) But if I talk to him NEVER like me anyway…. when he finds out what I've done. He'll think I;m a terrible person for refusing to go to school.
The thing is (and I really need your help on this) HOW ON EARTH DO I EXAIIN TO HIM ABOUT HOW I REFUSED TO GO TO SCHOOL--AND WORST OF ALL WHY? HE'LL THINK I’M A TERRIBLE I have two options:to ignore him and lose him or to talk to him ….but I’ll lose him anyway once I’ve explained my situation! It’s hopeless!
.my other problem is that when I refused to go to school—so did my sister(only she didn't have a valid reason) she simply wouldn't go just because I was off school and didn't see why she should go either.HOW ON EARTG CAN I EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW MY SISTER IS NOW IN THE SAME SITUATION I'M IN?HE'LL THINK MY FAMILY ARE AWFUL.(he used to know her you see)
What on earth should I do?
I kept telling her she MUST go to school but she would not listen to me!
It’s only a matter of time before he finds me……or we bump into one another.I REALLY love him and couldn’t bear to lose him. But he’ll NEVER EVER be interested in me now.He’s studying A levels at a top sixth form……I’ll be starting an entry level course for dim-wits.But how on earth am I going to explaion to him WHY I couldn’t go to school.
I lay awake at night worrying about this and I feel sick with fear whenever I think about it. I can’t bear it. PLEASE HELP! Can you offer me any advice on what I should say to him when he finds me? I’m beginning to panic…I cannot stay in the house forever. I don’t want to lose him…….but what can I do? Please can you offer me any advice as to what I should do. I used to know him quite well and he USED to like me but he will NEVER want to date me now—ever!
I feel so so ill! If I lose him(as I’m sure he won’t want to go out with me anymore) then it will be my worst nightmare come true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE could you reply to me.
Thankyou

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** Re: Depressed over lost boy friend and grandma (Reply to: 74978 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Sun, 23 Jul 2006 07:57:55 +0200
Language: English

 


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reply

Start going to school and study as hard as possible and avoid doing stupid mistakes again.

Read more about learning to think constructively.




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