I joined a software company in my country last year as a fresher just out of college. Before joining I never had too many crushes(1-2 may be), never use to flirt. Also when I was in college I never use to talk to boys who flirt. When I joined company, I started smiling flirtatiously at one guy, whom I did'nt use to like. Then I was like ...can I flirt with anyone....?????..I became concious of this fact and whenever I use to talk to any guy be it of any age, I started smiling flirtatiously although I did'nt want to....and one my seniors sensed that I am flirting with him, although my intentions were never to flirt with him...I think I was developing a habit of smiling like that(it was very unintentional)....well i knew that he thinks that I am attracted to him or something so I stopped talking to that person. although he was in my project but sometimes I had to go and talk to him about project related matters. Now this person one day got very offended because of my unusual behaviour that he decided to quit the project and asked for release from the project although he was very much needed in our project...somehow my Project Leader pulled him back and things wierder and weirder...and all this time I was feeling bad that because of me my project and that person is going all the trouble. Then I decided that something is wrong with me...it is not normal to behave like this. I started suspecting myself...one day I was like can I flirt with anyone...so I looked directly into to one girls eye and then i thought how could I do this..i have crossed my limits...and one thing lead to another and now I am so depressed and concious about all this that I cannot look into anybody's eye and talk..not even to my mother and brother and not even to my best friends. Lately I have been thinking of commiting sucide as a matter of fact I logged into internet to find a simple way to die and in the process I saw your site so here it is...Please help me....how can i come out of this mental illness or whatever you call it..earlier I use to be soo happy ..but now days nothing makes me happy nothing....Really i use to be so innocent and now I am like a big flirt. Although I don't like anyone not is that flirting intentional..I don't want to think about these things but i still do...Please help me.
24 yr old girl.
Engineer in Software company.
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Today's date: Fri, 9 Dec 2022 02:55:41 +0100