Im a 40 year old female no married.I lost my mother nearly two months ago,she dyed from a heart attack when she was alone,after having some heart problems two years ago I was trying not to not left her alone for long time,the day she died I went for shoping and after one hour when I was back she was not in that world,her absolute scilence is flashing back in my memeory whenever I close my eyes or Im alone,I just cant do anything but to cry,its painful that she dies alone sitting there waiting for me ,Im not able to forgive myself to let her alone,I know if I was there I could do something for her,Im so depressed and tired ,Im crying most of the day sometimes I want to join her as I miss her badly,is there any way i can feel better?
Most people feel that they could have done more when somebody dies. I am sure you did a lot for your mother before she died. People loose their mothers sooner or later, but find ways to survive. You need other people to care for now. See a psychiatrist or psychotherapist for help to conquer your depression.