i am just wondering if i am going about things with my 4 1/2 year old son(AJ) wrong. his father and i split up do to his drug addiction, emotional abuse and neglect. i have been with my boyfriend VB for 1 year in may.
my son visits his father every other weekend. to my knowledge he has been clean for about 6 months (hopefully). well recently my son asked VB if he could call him Daddy. VB looked at me in shock and said he didn't mind if I didn't mind. I told my son that if he wanted, since he calls his real father daddy, he can call VB Papi which is daddy in spanish.
my son was really happy. i think he wanted to feel like he still had a mommy and daddy together, or maybe he feels comfortable with VB and needed to know how he fits into the picture. he never calls him daddy or papi though. only once in a blue when he refers to him while talking with someone he says daddy vb or my other daddy.
i told his real father what had happened and how i handled it which didn't fall well with him of course. i completely understand, i would be disturbed if it were me. now he wants to talk to me and VB together this Sunday about it. he seems really upset. am i wrong? i have no clue what to respond if he says "our son can't call him daddy" was VB supposed to look at my son, whom he already has a strong bond with and say "no u cant call me that". please tell me how to go about this Sunday's talk. should i even involve VB or should it be between me and my ex. should i involve my son and see what he says?
Maybe it was a mistake to tell your son's father.
It is not necessary to talk about everything, if it hurts people. As it is now, your son should only call his real father Daddy and his stephfather by his first name.
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Today's date: Sun, 5 Feb 2023 14:23:00 +0100