Dear Doctor,
For some time now, I've been struggling with what is a very big problem in my life. I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and I am very in love with him. He treats me very well, makes every effort to make me happy, and yet, I have a problem. I have never been able to achieve orgasm with him, or anyone else, even though other girlfriends of his have said he's a very skilled lover. I can't even masturbate on my own... I just can't find a way to arouse myself. He doesn't know that I am unable to orgasm, (I've become pretty adept at faking), and I can't tell him- it would destroy his trust in me, as well as his enjoyment of sex with me.
It's starting to spill over into my relationship though... For the past month at least, whenever he makes sexual advances towards me, I get a very strong "no" feeling, and more often than not I rebuff him.
I need to know what reason there could be for my not being able to achieve orgasm... I'm sure that it's psychological, because I really do love and desire my boyfriend. I think about sex with him during my workday... the "no" feeling just happens when it comes down to having sex or not.
I am worried that this is going to destroy my relationship... please help.
~Kaity