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KOM2002 (question)  problem

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reply Re: problem , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 18 Mar 2006 22:45
question problem , ****** , 17 Mar 2006 02:38
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problem
From: ******
Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006 02:38:44 +0100
Language: English

 


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I have known this guy about 22 years. He was a neighbor when we first found our home before we were married. I always had a crush on him, even before I got married. He was and still is best friends with the kids who lived next door to us, so I always saw him. He was always friendly to me. When I had my boys, we were always outside and he would stop over and talk to me. One summer day, I was wetting my kids with the hose, he stopped by and grabbed the hose from my boys and hosed me down. A few years later, I would be the designated driver for friends to a nightclub. To my surprise, he was there too. I always looked forward to nights we went there after that. I will never forget my 30th birthday at the nightclub. He came over and my friends told him it was my birthday. He gave me a kiss. I will never forget it. That night, I drank a little too much and walked by him and grabbed him. The next day, I was going out to my car and he stopped and made a comment about the night before. He said he would be right back. He came in my house for about an hour, just talking, nothing else. I enjoyed every minute of it. As time past, he would make little flirtatious comments like when my husband would go out, he said, put the kids to bed early and I will come over. He also told me that he would come over another time and if I made him breakfast, he would have more energy:) I will never forget what he said. Of course, nothing ever happened. I still continued to see him for a few more years later. I knew where he worked and always showed up there to see him. Then, we sold our house. I only saw him once or twice after that.Recently, I was online last year and decided to do a search for him. I knew he had gotten married and had 2 kids. I found him and we continued to talk for a year and a half. I hadn't seen him online for a couple of months. Then, out of the blue, I got an email from him. He had gotten a new computer. I was so happy to hear from him. I sent him a card for the holidays. Then, I decided to send him an email for Valentines Day, just to say that I had hoped he found someone special. He did and told me about her. I was very happy for him, after all, he had gotten divorced. We started talking. I told him my husband did not know about me emailing him. He asked me what else he didn't know. I spilled my guts and told him that my husband did not know about the night I grabbed him when I was drunk, that I had not forgotten him and think of him when I hear a certain song and the only reason I went to the club all those years was because I knew he was there. I don't know why I felt I could tell him this after all this time. I know in my heart that I always had feelings for him. Then, after I told him all of this, he tells me that good thing I did not say anymore, his live-in girlfriend and soon to be engaged to, was reading all of my emails!!! I was mortified and embarrassed beyond belief. He said that they have no secrets and she has his screenname and password!! I believe in no secrets, but I also do believe in respecting each other's privacy! My husband and I have seperate screennames and do not know each others passwords! I only wrote that stuff to him because I thought it was only him reading it. She actually wrote to me and said not to worry about it. She was OK with it, knowing that he and I were good friends for a long time. He even wrote back to me saying that he was there for me if I wanted to talk. I have not written back since. I can't stop thinking about him. I think I am going out of my mind. Sorry this is so long, but I need a professional opinion. Thank you for your time and understanding with my problem. I look forward to a response. If you need to condense it for space purposes, please do. Thank you again.
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Re: problem (Reply to: 65139 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Sat, 18 Mar 2006 22:45:41 +0100
Language: English

 


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You seem to be in love with him and he likes you very much. But he has his girlfriend and he will only be there for you as a friend. This is not exactly what you have been dreaming of. The only good thing about it is, that you will probably have less problems in your own marriage this way.




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