Length of mourning

I am a 66 year old widower (I lost my wife some 29 years ago, remarried and have been divorced now for some 10 years).

About nine months ago I met and fell deeply in love with a woman who had lost her husband of some 40 years about a year before I met her. We semed to "click" on every level imaginable and she stuck with me through a minor prostate procedure (in-office) and a urinary track infection -- both of which got in the way of us becoming the lovers we clearly wanted to become (everything is fixed and normal now).

But we were none-the-less in love, spending weekends to gether, touching each other all day and even all night in our sleep (I always felt her there).

Then, suddenly, in late December, after she quit taking the tranquilizers her physician had prescribed for her (four a day, I believe), she wrote and said she "no longer loved" me, canceled a vacation we had scheduled together, sent me back my clothes and effects from her place, and said she wasn't going to "get back with" me.

There were no fights over anything between us. Neither one of us drink alcolhol, use illicit drugs, or have a mental illness.

I genuinely love this woman, and believe the breakup may have been: (1) the result of her not finishng the first stage of her mourning, and (b) a kind of post-tranquilzer let down (she wrote that she "didn't know why" she "no longer loved" me).

It's now been some three months since we've talked. How long should I wait to try and reconnect with her, how long does mourning of this sort (40 year marriage) usually take, and how -- what method? Phone? Letter? Email? -- do you think I should approach her?

Write a letter and tell her that you still love her. Maybe send her flowers. If she does not answer, you need to find another solution.