Hi, my husband has suffered with ocd since he was a child. He has been diagnosed by his brother-in-law, who is a psychiatrist. My husband would never seek help.
During our married years he has abused me mentally and physicaly. The last straw came about six months ago when he attacked me (which absolutely terrified me). It took some months after that to get the courage to leave him suddenly.
He was absolutely devastated, by my exit.
No one ever knew about my prediciment and were shocked as everyone always thought that he was a beautiful person, always gentle and quietly spoken very well educated. However, I knew differently!
Recently, I met him and had a talk with him. He asked why I had left him. When I told him about the attack, he said that he had no recollection of it and asked me whether I had a mental attack and imagined it all. Could he possibly be dangerous to me if I were to go back to him?
He has said that he will not control anything I do or say in future. Our children gave him a bad time over the way he has behaved.
I feel quite stable in myself now and wonder how I ever became so controled.
OCD usually does not make people dangerous. You have given your husband a shock when you left him and he will probably be very careful not to mistreat you again. Tell him that if it ever happens again, you will leave him forever. But also be careful not to provoke him out of his wits and leave the room if you see that he is upset.
Letter from a reader: Just be careful - I'm in a similar position, and my question is how do you know when enough is enough? I can do the emotional manipulation, depression and mood swings, but I can't cope with the emotional distancing or outrage that I get sometimes. I love him dearly and I think you knew that enough was enough and it was time to get out - you don't actually need to ask anyone else if you should go back, only you know if you are safer where you are now or not. Frankly I think it was a brave, bold move - I'm scared that if i did the same, my old man couldn't look after himself or would just top himself, and until I really have had enough, that keeps me there. Thankfully he has only hit me once or twice and there was no damage done -but if it went further than that, I can't say what I'd do.
That's what scares me. Be brave and do what you think is right - no-one is in a position to tell you how to react, because every situation is unique.
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Today's date: Sat, 21 Oct 2017 16:06:12 +0200