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KOM2002 (plain)  Friendship-relation problems

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reply Re: friendship-relation problems , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 18 Nov 2005 22:00
plain Friendship-relation problems , ****** , 18 Nov 2005 21:32
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Friendship-relation problems
From: ******
Date: Fri, 18 Nov 2005 21:32:05 +0100
Language: English

 


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My boyfriend and i have a long distance relation for 1.5 years so we spent a lot of time apart..We communicate everyday and talk out our problems..Recently he moved to another city due to professional reasons and finds it a bit difficult to adjust..the people,the food and the life style is different ..even the language is a bit changed..I'm sure he will soon get used to all...He has also found a close friend of his cousins ,living there,who is helping him out..he will soon move in with him..
The thing is that even when he lived in the previous city with all his friends he used to say that often he likes staying and having fun on his own instead of joining friends..i must say though that most of the times he would do the oppossite and join his friends into many activities..Also for some time ,before leaving for the new city,he left his appartment and moved in with a friend of his...Later he started to nag about it as he couldnt have his privacy,his space...
In general, on the outside he is really friendly and funny..the kinda guy that can start conversation with anyone (no matter whether its someone he knows or doesnt know)and make him/her laugh and have a nice time.. he often recalls gud times with friends..On the inside though he likes having his own space (appartment) exploring, reading books,drawing,do what he feels like and havin moments alone..I can understand its hard for him to find friends that can really share his world..communicate with him in depth.. To him ,as i understand, most of his friendships are a bit superficial and incomplete..he is not satisfied by the way his friends act..indeed some of them,i can tell,act foxy or take him for granted as he cant say no...he understands all and gets disappointed...But he continues to go out with them and doesnt hold bad feelings/grudge for anyone...
Now he has changed city,the people are different and when i tell him to go out with that guy or other people in order to freak out and recharge from a busy week, he answers he doesnt want to disturb anyone ,that he wants to stay in cause he always has best time on his own ...(when i'm not around)
He is really determined ...he really believes that it wont do him good to go out=socialise/join friends
..i tell him that i really dont communicate in depth with my friends either and feel very alone sometimes but each friend can give u a little something.Then i explain to him that giving
smth out to friends ,even if they are not close to u and without
expecting smth back,feels nice just cause u make smn feel gud no matter whether he's gud or evil...moreover any person different than u can really change ur scenery and the everyday routine...
he wont listen..maybe he is too hurt..
just wanna add that in his childhood although he had many friends he had to stay alone most of the time with his grandmother ,at his house...he used to venture out and explore..on his own

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Re: friendship-relation problems (Reply to: 56191 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Sat, 19 Nov 2005 19:44:07 +0100
Language: English

 


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People are different. Some are introvert and some are extrovert. You should both do what you want to and feel like. Do not try to persuade your boyfriend to do what you would have done in his situation. Accept that he can take responsibility for his own choices.




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