MORE INFO
CATEGORIES
|
midlife
midlife
From:
******
Date: Mon, 3 Oct 2005 15:39:38 +0200
|
|
Reply to all
|
|
|
Hello,
I am an American woman, 33, living alone (single since January 2005 and my 2 families are entirely in the USA and Canada) I have lived in Europe 12 yrs and recently came to a new city in France since 1.5 yrs. Going through a midlife crisis. I am lost. I am not doing the work I want to be doing, which is that of a dancer and choreographer, and instead find me trapped in the stressful cycle of working in a restaurant. I also very much want to start having a family of my own (and was recently left by my exboyfriend and artistic partner of 3.5 years which I thought was developping towards a family and project goals). Being an attractive woman, I have offers constantly from men, and I am also attracted by them. Being 33, I am stressed to get a family going but I push away even those I had interest in after a short time. I go through cycles of overdoing alcohol (recently woke up drunk in front of a friends doorstep at 6am , apparently having passed out )and then overdoing strict no alcohol periods. In a disco recently I overdid alcohol, and vomitted on spot, friends had to carry me home as I could not stand up. I isolate myself from friends sometimes as it all seems too much for me, but then search for compassion wherever I can - I have been overworked at work lately, and usually being a soft person, have started to become quite aggressive, now I get into moments where I throw money out the window, when I have nothing to fall back onto. I have this weeek, wanted to meet a recent lover in NY again, even at the risk of losing everything I have developped here from the last 12 years. And with all the money I have to spare. Seems like I hope he is the answer.... but this cannot be true. I want to see him, the ticket is bought, ... WHAT should/can I do to get out of my mess????
Stop using alcohol for the rest of your life. Go for treatment, if you cannot manage on your own. Work hard to reach your goals. Save your money. Find a good guy who can help you prevent your doing stupid things, if you cannot discipline yourself.
|