I am 23 yrs. old male. I have something that keeps eating me from inside. I belong to a middle class family and have been brought up in a humble environment. But my education was with affluent class students and so the circle of friends i had were all in the same category. Moreover, i thought i was able to connect with them easily. Actually most of them liked me and sought my companionship. This sometimes flattered me in my school days. But my own background reminded me of my social inferiority to this people. My parents always tried to discipline me so that i can be more like them and adopt their way of life and values. But i was never able to appreciate them because of the affluent company i used to share.
Actually i always had this hidden desire to be rich myself and enjoy the affluent life of these people. I still am striving to move on the higher level of social status. I very much enjoy the company of people who are rich and successful and avoid company of ordinary people from the similar background as mine. The affluent people also tend to connect with me and like me and do favours to me. This makes my desire grow more strong. But I think that the people from my background are inferior and less worthwhile. Also i feel that my background is pulling me or at times being a burden on me to achieve what i want to. The values of my family doesn't let me go in the society i always dreamt to be in. This has been hard on my conscience and i am becoming distant from my family and i have also started to develop a feeling of guilt for myself of being selfish and careless. So i am stuck in deadlock where my mind wants me to go ahead and achieve what i desire to and my conscience stops me or pulls me from doing so.
There has always been people who change the social class they were born into. Some change upwards and some change the other way. Be true to yourself rather than to your background. Go ahead and achieve what you desire, but do not look down on your background. Be grateful to your parents for what they have given you and make them be proud of you. It is not true that people from your background are inferior and less wortwhile. There are good and bad people in all social classes. Try to become a person that can feel at ease in different social classes.
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Today's date: Mon, 28 Nov 2022 05:52:15 +0100