Since i returned from a 4 month trip tp Africa my life has changed. I don't seem to enjoy my family, friends or home life anymore. I find some people who i previously thought were the best people in my life to be completely draining now. I have got a dependency to Marjhana which i feel isn't the problem but may well be but at this stage i don't want to give it up because i feel it is a blanket. When my friends come round we smoke which kinda helps the awkwardness which i feel now. I am lost in every aspect. I feel that i don't know what to do with my life and i don't feel that i could ever find a partner. I'm only 21 but all my close friends have serious boyfriends which is another reason why i feel like i should distance myself from them. They are unwilling to come out with me on search for guys etc, which is understandable but should they not support me as much as i support them. Anyway as you can probably tell i don't really know what i feel anymore which is why i am so down. I do have a job, the job i left when i went to Africa which i don't enjoy that much. My dream would be to go back to Africa but i don't want to go alone.
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Today's date: Wed, 30 Sep 2020 07:19:37 +0200