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KOM2002 (sad)  Untrustworthy, selfish spouse

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reply Re: Untrustworthy, selfish spouse , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 21 Apr 2005 09:45
sad Untrustworthy, selfish spouse , ****** , 20 Apr 2005 20:47
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Untrustworthy, selfish spouse
From: ******
Date: Wed, 20 Apr 2005 20:47:31 +0200
Language: English

 


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sad
I don't trust my husband. We've only been married for 9 months. This is the 2nd marriage for us both. I have children, he does not. He continually puts his own needs and wants ahead of mine. He buys himself expensive items several times a week. The bills are mounting and he doesn't seem to care one bit. He goes out socially without me. He withholds sex and affection, telling me he can't have intimacy without trust and as long as I don't trust him we won't have sex. We rarely even touch at all. When we do have sex, it is to satisfy him, not me. (He's the one who contracted oral Herpes, so I thought he was cheating on me). In his first marriage he cheated on his wife throughout, not caring one bit about the hurt he inflicted. Now, with me, he flirts with other women and makes comments about their looks/anatomy, etc. in front of me on a regular basis. THis is very hurtful. He has been violent with me a number of times. He insisted that we have a joint account, yet squanders all the money on himself leaving little for bills and expenses. I started therapy and am regaining my self esteem. He also started therapy separately. For one week he has been on good behavior. He is not putting me down or being violent. He is complementing me and being nicer...but I don't trust him. I love this man for some unknown reason. So every time he's nice to me I get sucked back in. He has bullied me to such a point that I felt like I was suffering from PTSD. I was feeling suicidal for a few weeks. Now even the slightest thing triggers a panic in me. I am getting stronger though, and he is no longer screaming in my face or hurting me every day. I am learning to enforce my boundaries. He has attempted to breach every single one. He tells me my inability to trust is the root of all of our problems. He has told everyone at work that I'm the abuser, and the unstable one. He's painted a completely different portrait than the one that exists. This is ridiculous! Is there hope in this type of situation, or should I just get out? My son has attached to him and is doing well in school here. I sold my home, left my job, started back to school to make a new career, and I have no one to depend on, nor do I have enough money to make a break right now. Please help.
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Re: Untrustworthy, selfish spouse (Reply to: 44852 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 09:45:02 +0200
Language: English

 


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You have started therapy and are regaining your self esteem. Concentrate on you studies. When you can support yourself, you can move out, if therapy at that time has not helped you to improve your relation with your husband.




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KOM 2002