Dishonest and abusive husband

I recently remarried after 6 years as a single parent and career woman. My new husband and I have had a highly tumultuous relationship. We argue constantly,mostly because my needs are not being met. I suspect he may be cheating on me since we rarely have sexual relations, and when we do, my gratification does not seem to matter. He has now contracted oral herpes. He claims that the virus must have been lying dormant in his system for years, unbeknownst to him, and the stress of all our arguing brought it out. The doctor says this is possible, however, his entire upper lip swelled. I thought this was how herpes first presented itself, not when someone has had it in their system. I am so confused. We are both in therapy separately. I am now in a serious depression. Living with distrust and suspicion is horrendous. When I confront him, he swears up and down that he would never cheat on me, that he loves me and wants our marriage to work. I don't know what to believe.

Herpes can stay secret in your system and show itself at a much later time. You have no reason to believe that your husband has cheated on you just because of the herpes outburst.

You are disappointed and want to leave your husband. You need somebody who gives you love and affection, but is is hard for you to leave him. You need to find out what is best for you in the long run, and then act in order to realize this goal.