father son relationship

my father was a bad husband and father. My mother divorced him when I was 5. I missed him very much and had difficulty understanding why my mom wouldn't go back to him. I saw him twice a year for the next 20 years and he lived 30 minutes from me. I made the effort to develop a relationship with him as an adult, to better understand him and myself. He suffered a stroke 10 years ago. I took care of him until his passing; 3 years ago. ---- He had this way of making me feel like the most incapable person on earth. I think, if I were actually raised by him, I' be a total basket case. ---I have serious self confidence issues. Help!

Perhaps you feel that you lost a good loving father, who could teach you to be happy and proud of yourself. Is there any old, wise man in your surroundings whom you could "adopt" as a "father?"