I was raised and born in north africa, i'm muslim and i married an american woman.She has two kids from two different guys both out of wedlock. I defied my family to be with her because i love her. Lately we are having huge problems and it's all because of me. I did investigate her life when i moved in with her, and i found a lot of love letters to other guys before me i also found a video of her kissing a guy that was 10 years younger than her....all those things messed up my brain somehow to a point where i get uncontrollable taughts about all those people. I treat my wife really bad because of that. I need some serious help before our relationship is history. The thaughts are really uncontrollable and then hurt me a lot when i get them. Those episodes are on a daily basis and it's torturing me but once month i just burst and call her "slut"...etc. After she she cries like crazy and explains to me that the past is past and that she never cared about anybody before me and that those kids were mistakes i feel better, i cry because i feel guilty and i regret the hole thing, but days after it all starts again....i also feel a pain in the left side of my brain when i get the thaughts and i thaught about killing my self once because i hate doing that to her but i can't help what i can't control....do i need medication or therapy or what? is it a cultural shock what is it? I was never like that about anything in my life.
help please. Said 29
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Today's date: Thu, 1 Oct 2020 18:28:24 +0200