Cant have orgasm

Hi,

I am 28 years old. I am having sexual intercourse for 9 years and I have never ever had an orgasm during the intercourse.

I can only have orgasm when my partner stimulates my clitoris during which I fantasize two other people having sex, not me. I cannot enjoy thinking about me having sex and getting pleasure. I have tried many times, but thinking about myself does not give me pleasure. During intercourse I enjoy a lot and I am really wet, sometimes too wet. I often think about a man raping a woman (doggie style) and the woman at first struggles but when she gets pleasure does not resist any more. I think something is wrong with me.

I often think that my first experinece have negative effect on me still. I had a boyfirend for 2,5 years. When I think back, I know I did not enjoy having sex with him. He was selfish and did not care if I enjoyed or not. Back then I was naive and did not know I should ask more, that I should ask to be satisfied. I just went along with him and now I remember wishing during the intercourse that he came and that the sex would be over. This is disgusting I think.

Also, during intercourse I cannot really concentrate. I start thinking about something else. I think I do not believe that I will ever have an orgasm during the intercourse and that's why, perhaps, I do not get one.

Most women do not get an orgasm during intercourse. You are perfectly normal. Be happy that you have found a way to reach orgasm. Enjoy your fantasies and perhaps find others that also stimulate you. There is nothing wrong with having fantasies to achieve orgasm. It is perfectly normal and common for many women.