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KOM2002 (question)  

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reply Re: , Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92 , 07 Feb 2005 07:38
question ------ , ****** , 06 Feb 2005 15:39
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From: ******
Date: Sun, 6 Feb 2005 15:39:44 +0100
Language: English


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I have been married three years now. My husband had a good salaried job before job. One month before marriage he lost his job due to some grave mistake he committed at work. After marriage he started blaming me that he lost his job because I am an "evil eye" in his life, my bad luck came with me into the marriage and has effected him in a bad way. I was shocked when I heard it for the first time but ignored it thinking he will change as soon as he gets another job.
He got a job but with less salary than the previous one and for this also he started blaming me that I am an evil eye and I have destroyed and ruined his life -his financial and professional life. Till date he blames me and calls me and evil eye and tells me I am bad luck for him.
Moreover, his relatives wanted him around when he had a good salaried job but now as he doesnt have the money he used to have (I think so thats the reason ) they dont invite him for social functions , make wierd faces at him and me too and so my husband has come to a conclusion that all this is because of me. His relatives shun him because of my evil presence in his life!.
I didnt have a job before marriage. I got a job 2 months after marriage and I am doing good at my work place. So he has found a new reason to taunt me now- that his good luck has brought good luck to my life and see what I have done to his life-It proves I am an evil eye for him and that he is good one for me. He threatens to divorce me if his professional and financial condition doesnt improve because its be due to me that he is suffering.
Please note here that he didnt get a job until 6 months after marriage and I obediently paid all his parents bills and loans as my husband had taken up their financial responsibilities. As he didnt have a job I had to fulfill that responsibility (and he has forgotten this). Till date we have been paying all their loans and bills and we are going to continue do so for 25 years as my husband has given them his word. (to note : his parents are quite well off but still) .
Now my parents are thinking of immigrating and I need to help them financially at least to begin with but my husband is refusing saying if I take my parents responsibilities or try to help them financially he will divorce me. He curses my parents often for no reason at all. They do not even live in this country. Now he doesnt even want me to call them on phone and talk to them saying its expensive.
If he helps his parents its ok it is his duty but being a daughter its not my responsibility to take care of my parents. My duty is to take care of his parents only. I am fed up of this attitude and I really dont know what to do. Completely depressed. What will I tell my parents? They do not expect any help from me but I do have certain duties towards them also like the way he does.
Please help. I am getting depressed day by day by his curses and screamings and his attitude of blaming me for no mistake of mine. NO RATIONAL EXPLAINING HELPS. AS SOON AS I TRY TO EXPLAIN THINGS TO HIM OR TELL HIM HIS ATTITUDE AND WORDS HURT ME DEEPLY HE STARTS SCREAMING AND THROWING THINGS AT ME.

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Re: (Reply to: 40656 from ****** )
From: Gunborg Palme - Leg psykolog - Leg psykoterapeut - Telefon 08-664 60 92
Date: Mon, 7 Feb 2005 07:38:11 +0100
Language: English


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Is there any reason for you to stay in this marriage?

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Today's date: Tue, 28 Jan 2020 15:56:26 +0100
KOM 2002