Hi, I have a problem when having sex with my girlfriend. Every time we have sex (or try to have sex) I don't seem to be able to get an erection. This isn't a medical problem, but a psychological one because I masterbate almost every day usually 2 or 3 times and I never have a problem doing that. It's starting to become a problem in the relationship so I need to figure out what's going on with me soon.
I do realize that this is probably an anxiety problem, but I've never seemed to have this problem with any other woman that I've ever been with. The even worse problem is that she's starting to think that my problem has to do with her and that I don't find her exciting enough, but I know that isn't the problem either. If you have any suggestions for lowering the anxiety in the bedroom, we're both open-minded enough to try anything it takes.
Oh, and I guess I should add that medication such as an anti-anxiety med is probably out of the question because I used to be prescribed several different kinds (at different times and I haven't taken any within the last 4 months) and all of them actually caused this kind of a problem for real (as a sexual sideaffect).
Thank's, I appreciate any advice, and I'm sure my girlfriend does too.
Don't masturbate a few days before you are going to have sex with your girlfriend. That will probably solve the problem. Try to relax and don't feel forced to have an erection every time. Concentrate on feeling good together, for example through caressing and fondling. Do not let your goal be to have an erection, but on both of you being happy together. Let the erection come, if and when it comes, and enjoy yourself together in the meantime.
If it is very important to have an erection, and it never comes, why not masturbating with your girlfriend.