If you want to feel good without using any drugs you need a long term perspective. Stop drinking completely since you can't drink with moderation. Seek professional help if you can't do this on your own. Keep fit one hour a day and eat healthy, nutritious food. Since your problems get worse when you are surrounded by a lot of people you might also be suffering from anxiety-attacks. If this is the case you can get help from psychotherapy. Get in contact with a doctor and get an examination.