Well that is a harsh story and I feel for you.
I think it is important to begin to think of something else.
Something which takes of the pressure to marriage and all the accompanying grown up stuff. Take on Astrology for example it can be good and give you hope.
Hope is all you need to overcome your despair.
http://www.astrosofa.com is a website which has all kind of esoterical themes.
Don't like it try sports, go swimming for example.
All those things are meant to make your thought go in a different direction