I'm 30 years of age and female.. I'm suffering with depression, I took an overdose of paracetamol and made myself very ill, I'm lucky to be here. I struggle to talk to people about my problems. And refuse to take anti-depressants. I started smoking weed about 6 months ago, it helped me feel something nice. Now I've built up a tolerance to it and it doesn't have the same effect on me. I got my monthly wages on Friday and I've purchased £200 worth of cocaine, I feel like I'm on a downward spiral and out of control. I have a very impulsive and addictive personality, once something has entered my head as only a thought I can't let go of it until it cracks me up. I don't know what else to. I'm lost and scared. I don't want my life to be like this.