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KOM2002 (question)  My married man love story

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My married man love story
Av: 773C732D7730734D77367329773573287732732C
Datum: Fri, 5 Oct 2007 09:23:18 +0200
Språk: Engelska

 


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question
I am in love with a married man. I know, I know, I am immoral and dipicable. But before you judge, just hear my story. This married man and I dated in school. (Way back in 7th and 8th grade). He was my first love, in fact. I have always loved him, even though I was the one to break up with him! Why? His mother was very controlling and wouldn't let me see him! Anyway, I have never stopped thinking about him or regretting my mistake.
I am now 24 years old, and still in love with my first love. I recently began dating someone very close to him: his cousin! Though, I didn't know it at the time. Now my first love is married with a baby. I have to see him at every family gathering, and so on. I know that he shares my feelings, because the eyes don't lie. When a man stares at you the way he does at me, well, a girl just knows! There is an unspoken conversation between our hearts. Even my boyfriend and his wife see it. He and I try not to speak, because both of them have forbidden us to do so.
The problem is, I have to confront my mistake and relive the pain constantly! There is no going back. There is no confessing my feelings to clear my conscious. There is no forgetting that I'm in love with a man, but I can't tell him and hope he loves me back. It's not fair to love someone so much, so deeply, for so long and never have that love returned. I just keep denying my heart, denying my true feelings. He does too, though. So I guess it's the right thing to do.
I'm not trying to wreck his life or his family.(New or old) It's just so hard living life as only half of who I really am. Part of me wants to confront these feelings to see if we still have that spark. To see if I am truely in love with him, or just the image of the boy I knew. The other part of me says that exploring these feelings, even confessing to him and nothing more, would be selfish, and put him in a difficult situation. Should I just go on living my life not knowing, always thinking of him, always being in pain? Never feeling complete? Should I take the plunge and just deal with the consequences? The guy I am dating now (his cousin) has been so wonderful to me. I don't want to hurt him, but I am unsure of where my heart truely lies. HELP ME PLEASE!
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Re: My married man love story (Svar till: 110539 av 773C732D7730734D77367329773573287732732C )
Av: Committed
Datum: Wed, 10 Oct 2007 01:18:17 +0200
Språk: Engelska

 


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angry
My husband had an affair that resulted in emotional and physical feelings for this woman. We are still together as I believe that my marriage can be healed. I am devastated and heartbroken as I believe in my marriage vows. My husband tried to end it with her several times but yet she keeps on pursuing him and her reason being is that "he can't deny his feelings." He is trying to do the right thing for our marriage, his wife and his kids, and she is just making it hard. I don't understand how someone can keep pursuing their feelings for someone who is already married. Marriage means nothing to those who do this. You will never know the sanctity of marriage. You cannot take the plunge and deal with the consequences. HE IS MARRIED. That means he is OFF LIMITS. Why is that so hard to understand??
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Re: My married man love story (Svar till: 110861 av Committed )
Av: 77D7170577A9177877AD170177AD177D77AE1707
Datum: Sat, 26 Jan 2008 03:10:22 +0100
Språk: Engelska

 


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Iam in love with a married man from where i work he dont know it because i cant tell him. My heart skips a beat when i see him. He is 23 years older then me and i dont know what to do. I really love him but i dont want to hurt him. His son also works there. I dont know what i should do i could really mess things up for him but i want him so Bad. Ifeel iam a bad person for falling in love with him, i try to forget about him but i just cant what should I do?????
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Re: My married man love story (Svar till: 110539 av 773C732D7730734D77367329773573287732732C )
Av: 325044E25194C9BD6AAEAA8FC71D89E6
Datum: Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:49:56 +0100
Språk: Engelska

 


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You guys dated as kids... it was a childhood crush. It was over 11 yrs ago & your still young & you think because now you see him as a man & married that his wife took your place & you could have possibly been with him now & with a child from him possibly. But you had your chance & runined it. You let things & people get in your way. Guess what sweety! There is alot more in your way now & I think to get it off you chest first you should tell the cousin the man your now dating the whole story & hopefully he doesn't think your an inmature woman with a childhood crush & dumps you on the stop for even putting your current new, good relationship to crap over a CRUSH.... Then you should at one point tell this guy your ex now married man in a friendly setting like at a coffee shop how you felt as a kid for him & how you still find him attractive. Wait for his response but please don't flirt or touch or do anything to entice the situation remember he is a man & what you want is to know if there was anything mutual between you and him in the PAST & further more if he STILL feels that way. Whatever he tells you just listen to every word very carefully & embrace the whole moment beacuse its a moment you've wanted for such a long time. But he is now married & you should respect that. The world turn & you wouldn't want someone taking you husband. Period. You have the cousin a close relative of his & you should work on that relationship & even thought you cant have the now married man you can have the cousin & i'm sure there are similarities between them. See where that takes you. The past is past work on the current. Because you wouldn't want anymore what if's.. Even if it doesn't last atleast you put work into this relationship & didn't run away because of this mother or whatever lol. Atleast now you've told your feelings to both men and are completely honest with yourself & them & move on... Good Luck!
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Re: My married man love story (Svar till: 110539 av 773C732D7730734D77367329773573287732732C )
Av: 9C0F7625E87963BFBBB47BDE17D64FB1
Datum: Tue, 8 Sep 2009 03:54:54 +0200
Språk: Engelska

 


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Preserve those days and move on as he is taken and not only that the feeling that you are having is just a crush .And things are not as rosy as it looks after honeymoon life is as usuall taking care about family and responsibility.
And what are you trying to gain his wifes place well honey you left it and now its taken.Build a beautiful life with this man who loves you so much and have you ever though you are doing the same mistake you so unsure right now and i can't entirely blame you your age is such too.Trust me once you are settle with you BF and have your family you will not have much time to think since you will have your own little family.
Move on dear that's the best advice i would give don't do anything stupid and preseve those days as a memory they will make you laugh later.
All the best
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Re: My married man love story (Svar till: 110861 av Committed )
Av: C8D169E342B11249EBE9102940209EEA
Datum: Sun, 8 Nov 2009 11:08:31 +0100
Språk: Engelska

 


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plain
Hi, I have read countless articles about women having affairs with married men. Many articles keep saying that the woman is bad, or both people are bad. This may be true in a lot of cases. But every single situation is different. Take the case of a married man who has an arranged marriage. He has since changed so much that he would never have agreed to marry his wife now. He has kids and is just staying with her for the children. It is impossible for him to divorce but he loves another woman. That woman knows that the can never divorce and has never asked him to and never will. She knows it would be wrong for him to get divorced. But no one must ever judge these 2 people. The simple fact of the matter is they truly have fallen in love and love each other deeply and it is a very different love to the arranged marriage love. His arranged marriage love has to work and it is a business love. The other woman knows this and has to be strong to accept this. She has no intention of ever wrecking the marriage but has to accept the current situation. But both cannot stop loving each other. To all those people who judge - the power of true and real love is very very strong. And some people have affairs simply because they are now married to the wrong person. Everyone changes in their life. You know it really is possible for 2 married people to change and be different to the person they married. Mr Z changes so much through various work and life issues, his wife Mrs Z is exactly the same person he married 10 years ago. You know this does happen and this is why marriage "is not a word its a sentence" to quote my favourite saying. Some people change beyond all recognisation and through this change find the person they really would prefer to be with now.

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Dagens datum: Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:14:50 +0100
KOM 2002