Am i in love with a married man?

Ok I know there is a whole thread dedicated to this topic but I can't seem to able to write on so here's my situation.. about 3 years ago i met a guy..we clicked immedietly i gave him my number we talked for a while then met up for our first date..it was amazin he ended coming back to my place and all we did was stay up all night talking, laughing and it just soo natural..a few more dates later we slept with eachother and i have to admit it was the best sex iv ever had in my LIFE... things got really hot and heavy, we told each other we loved each other he started talking about marriage and introducd me to his family etc.. unfortunately (or fortunately as i was later to discover) i got cold feet i was verry young and still at university so i ended things somewhat abruptly - because i knew a good break up where we "stay friends" would inevitably lead to us getting back together.

Anyhow about 6 months later (mid 2007) i heard his mother died and i called him and we started talking again, he was seeing a girl then but would always drop everything wit her to come and see me and we talked alot, he felt he could really open up to me about the loss of his mother and he even cried in front of me.. we became involved physically but kept commitment to a minimum which suited me fine at the time.. then one day out of the blue he told me he's gettn married?! i was sooo shocked i didnt really know what to say, i couldnt really scream and shout at him as i had been the one to refuse him the first time and had willingly gotten involved in a no-strings attached freinds with benefits situation with him and after many many nights crying over this news i finally walked away from him and the whole sorry sitaution..

so fast farward 2 years.. i ran into him at a mutual friends birthday do..i wanted to be mad at him but i just couldnt we ended up talking as usual.. he was flirting with me quite outrageously, he came back to my place as he was pretty drunk and couldnt poss drive home and u know it - we slept with eachother and all throughout he kept saying how much he still loved me and was still so attracted to me.. im such a sucker for believing his shit. the next morning i asked him about his wife.. now he tells me tht it was an arranged marriage, tht he had been coerced by his family to marry (i love how he can shift responsibility onto anyone but himself) anyhow the marriage was a disaster they were fighitng all the time and it wasnt working out.. tht she is very jealous and possesive and he was considering getting a divorce and tht they are currently seperated.. so we met a few times..slept with eachother i could already feel myself falling for him again when he suddenly announced his wife was moving back home and they were going to give things another go!!! I was furious.. first of all because I believe he lied to me about the seperation frm the start (he had lied to me alot while we had dated) and if he had go be a cheating pr*ck to his wife, why couldnt he have gone to a hooker or something why did he do this to me..i just dont understand how a man who professed to love me and once asked me to marry him could treat me like a 10 dollar ****
could it be that he really does still have feeling for me? could be he took his chance at getting back at me for regecting 2 years ago?? worst of all i still do have feelings for him and im more confused than ever.. im still relativly young and i should be out dating and loving better men why is this happening to me..