I'll commit suicide soon

im a 20 year old girl....its been 7 months that iv been going out with my guy...hez nice 2 be with n all....but he hardly gives me time...we barely msg or talk over the phone....i admit my fault 2 some extent but thats because of my past experiences..my parents got divorced when i was 11...i broke up with my x when was 18....i completly changed...got reserved...restricted myself 2 my room...n wanted to stay in isolation jst last year in november i finally decided 2 give myself a second chance when i saw this guy but he doesnt seem 2 understand me.......after what happend in da past i have restrained myslf from getting close 2 people nomatter who it is...n now when i want 2 get close to my guy(not physically)i cant...he has issues too...he says i cant satisfy him..never do what he says...dont know how to talk n react..we have never been physicall...he really wants to...but having sex would result in ending up in hell...my religion doestn allow that..but yes i do want 2 hug him n kiss him n xpect the same from him but i cant..i dont know y..i just want 2 keep him happy n m ready 2 do anything for that xept having sex because i dont want to take such a big sin 2 my grave but i want him 2 realise that he can make a difference..n he is all that matters to me...no matter what happens....im never going to leave him because i av already lost alot in life....please help me out.....i want a peaceful relationship because he is all that i have...my dad married again...my brother is married and is living his own life...i hardly have friends....i just want my relation 2 be in a better posistion because its a complete disaster right now...i badly need help people

Have you told him what you wrote in this message? There is no need for suicide, you can deal with this, and your boyfriend cares about you. You feel overwhelmed but telling your boyfriend about suicide unless you need help WITH suicide not with something else and thinking that you will isn't needed, you can deal with this. You haven't even really explained why you are so "reserved". Your parents divorced, was that relationship and them divorcing hard for you or did it just make you nervous about relationships? If you are having problems with your boyfriend, you need to figure out what they really are, open yourself up for a kiss, you won't regret it, you care about him and since he cares it will go okay, it really will. Open yourself up to your problems in general, open them up to yourself and your boyfriend, you might need to deal with more of your own problems before going to him, but I think you need to explain yourself, you want to explain yourself. Tell him what you said in this message.

Livia