Re: I dont have no problem with my boyfriend he just just left me for no reason.
Date: Sun, 5 Apr 2009 05:57:10 +0200
I to everyday have th same problems. I have two kids with the guy that I know I love, I give my all. I cook I clean and I do everything I am suppose to. I do not run from what I have done to make my life better. I am only 23 and it has been one ride being a mother. I know so many girls who have had kids and then when they do they run, cause then after knowing for how long and suppose to be preparing for how long to be a mom but no they need to find themselves. I take on everything I have dished out for myself.
I at times to get jealous and a bit negative, but I do not feel like I do it on my own. My boyfriend goes out and does drugs. He calls me up wee hours of the morning to tell me he is with young girls. I do not give oral sex. And he usually forces me. It makes me puke. And if I don't he tells me that he wishes that I was like other girls, that just do what they are told. He is violent to me when we fight, he will clear off counter tops, smash things..All of this infront of my kids. My three year old already acts out just like she see's..And I am not sure if he realizes that you learn what you live and you live what you learn.
I do not want my kids to grow up like this or anything like him. He is always cutting me down. I cannot even cry unless I go hide to do it cause he just tells me to dry up and that he has seen me cry so much it has no effect, it does not even bother him to see me cry..Like how ungreatful can a person be. Well I guess they can be pretty low.
It is funny, he use to be with a stripper and he gave his all to her, even though she was a cheater, and had given him chlamydia at one time, and would go out of town to do shows and then stay there cracking out the whole time while asking him for more money...Am I paying for what unfaithful girls have done to him??..But even so I will never know. He just expects me to take that pile of shit we have made together and just keep making the pile bigger, I am tired. I want to sit down and accumulate this pile properly. But he tells me he doesn't want to hear it, or he gets mad.
I do not know what to do anymore, he is killing everything I stand for, and I let him do it to. I am sick of being weak. I need to be an independent woman, and staying with someone like him can just say good bye to good things..Cause as long as I am with him I feel like I am nothing and never be. I no I am something, I no I am not everything but we all are something...I am so honest and faithful and would never do anything to ever hurt him. People who do it to dispite and there reasons for doing what they do cannot possibly out weigh the ever lasting damage they are creating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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