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  How do I help my mom deal with her low self-esteem?
  Re: How do I help my mom deal with her low self-esteem?

KOM2002 (reply)  Re: How do I help my mom deal with her low self-esteem?

Re: How do I help my mom deal with her low self-esteem? (Reply to: 136704 from FCEFBDC50E828CF0C7C4C302C6E7D63B )
From: 8F07AD7F697D7565D2A5732F9C16C3FB
Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:41:14 +0100
Language: English

 


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Hello! That's very nice to hear you don't feel guilty. But, sorry me, we almost always hide our feelings coming from our childhood so deep, because of it's so painful, that we don't want to face it again. But... they are still there, waiting the time when we pay attention to them and let it go. What if I say you would not have such situation in you life if you really don't have this hidden feeling? Why I say like this? Simply because I went through similar situation. When I realized my deep guilt it had never come back. OK, only you can honestly answer this question.

May I ask you? Did your mother ask you about help? I assume the answer is "no".

<>

.."and knowing she is truly unhappy"... Are you sure you know? Which opinion is here? That's You think she suffers. She does not. Why you decided she needs help? You put such heavy burden on your shoulders and took responsibilities to help her. But she does not need it. Imagine the situation, strange person approach you and say: "You have the problem, your act incorrectly, you live wrong way." What are you reaction? Indeed, you don't take it seriously, you ignore it or just say : "who are you to teach me how to live" . The same your mother. She knows how to live her life. It is her rights. She resists to do what you think she supposes to do(raise her self-esteem)She even may be does not realize she has low self-esteem. Release the situation. Release your responsibility. Surrender, and you get "win-win" solution. If the person does not want to change anything, you can't force her. She does not want to discuss with you about it (it's a sign, is not it?) And you are trying to insist on your point of view. You hate to see her destroying. Right, it's hard, I know.But again, that You can't accept you mom like she is. She is just your mirror. She shows you unconsciously what you have something inside of you that you can't accept.This is the reason of your unpleasant relationships. Understand, please, You can't change somebody's life. You can change only yours or at least change attitude to the situation. Nothing will change until you accept your mom with all her oddity and release your wish to help. Only after this you will be know from your heart how you can help her. You will get the solution made not by your logical mind, like you are trying now, but from the heart. And you will make steps in this direction. But - the outcome is only from God. No any expectations.
<> The answer is: CONSCIOUS inwardly acceptance and allowing her to be like she is. Forgive what she is like she is. You will get liberation. You need it, not her. Do it, You lose nothing, but the choice is always yours. I don't know for today any other way, logic and "common sense" does not work any more.


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KOM 2002