wow i can understand your feelings about not wanting to be alone. I feel the same way about my boyfriend he hits me calls me names and puts me down literally everyday. he screams at my family and is very abusive. Okay, I know im a total sucker for not taking my own advice but my guts are building slowly. When your with somebody for that long you do care deeply about them but there is no REAL love in cheating. Its VERY hard for me becuase i can never see my friends and have lost alot of them becuase of my boyfriend. But im going to take the risk and break up with him i deserve better. I will be much happier with somebody that treats me good. REMEMBER EVERYBODY ABUSE HAS NO PLACE IN LOVE.