im in love with a married man

im so glad i found this site, i was realy stressing and heading for major depression,im a psychology student and doing my final year . im in love with a married man, we have been together for 5 months now and he promised to leave his wife for me,but they have a daughter who is 4yrs old.he says he want to take things slowly becuz he doesnt wanna loose his house,car and the rest.so i said to him that i give him 4yrs to fix up all his problems, i really love him so much and i think the is no one else in this world i will be with ,i am scared that what if he is using me to overcum his stress from work and at home?, i doubt if he really loves me, when i bringup this question to him he says he loves me and doesnt wana lose me. please help me i dont know what to think anymore.i think im loosing it

well i have just lost my married man and he said he would leave his wifey to he lied and i can bet he is lying to you to if you look up the facts you will see its not in your favor and he may be using you but just try to keep your head up there are many many single guys out there who are willing to do just about anything for you you just have to look a little harder...

thanx a lot i think i now see the light. i know now that im still single and can get any guy i want and not married guys. thanx a lot for the advise, starting from now on im going to conctrante on finishing my degree and the rest concerning social life im taking a big break. i will see them when im working. this married guys should go and rot in hell,if they dont wana beare their problems and want us to help them heal by manipulating us, they have antisocial personality disoder.. I HATE MARRIED MEN

You go girl. I am frustrating over a married man at the moment. I have been in deep depression all weekend pining over him. He runs hot and cold all the time. I dont want him to leave his wife, but at the same time I do want him to leave her. Its the romance & flattery we all fall for, and it gets us every time. The married man knows just how to work us then deals us a cruel blow that sends us crashing into self hate and ruins our confidence. I HATE MARRIED MEN Too. Its time we fought back.

Ladies...let me share a moment and hopefully you will learn from my mistake/s.

We were inseperable from the moment we met. He had keys to my place, I hade keys to his. We were ALWAYS together. About a year into our relationship I found out that I was pregnant. Knowing that he did not want children as he and his "ex-wife" already had two and he was much older than myself. I tiold him and he responded as I thought he would. He chased me out of his house and I cried all the way home. Later that evening he came over to talk to me about everything. I was in no way prepared to hear what he wanted to talk about. He was a high ranking officer in the marine corps where we lived BTW. He apologized for being a jerk earlier and i accepted. Then he told me why he behaved so badly. I couldn't beleive that the man i just knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with was actually married and moving into a new home in another state in two months time. My heart was so broken b/c I did everything for him. Spent all my time alone thinking about him and all that other stuff new lovers do. I did what I swore to God I would never do and ended the pregnancy...what else could I do? I was young. He and I spent as much time together as possible before he left. On the day he left we spoke of our relationship as if in past tense. I cried for two weeks straight until I got his phone call. He was crying and begging me to visit him and that he would make it very special. I agreed and went that weekend. We did this for a year. I freaking moved...like an idiot. He of course told me that his marriage was complete crap and that he was going to make me number one really soon. 7 years and two children with him later he calls yesterday to tell me that he was going to make a clean start with his wife and that I should not look to him for support, emotional or otherwise. To tell you the truth I am ok with it. I have had nothing but lonely holidays and endless lonely nights waiting for this jackass to make good with his promises. Our youngest is 3 weeks old and oldest is almost 3 years old. I decided that it's for the best b/c our 3 year old is starting to realize that daddy isn't around as much as she wishes he was and doesn't understand why she can't be with him everyday like she is with me. He would make dates with me and then never show up and make me feel like I was being selfish when I wanted to spend Christmas with him. My vacations alone with our daughter were never fun. She would have been feeling the same way as I did for so long and that's not good for a little one. As far as the baby is concerned he has only spent 4 days with him since he was born...that speaks volumes. My advice is to not be stupid like me and waste so much time on someone who tells you that you make him feel alive and loved, because no matter what he will be the only one to feel that way until he decides that he needs another change. You are too special girls. Don't let lies and bad judgement rule your lives.

Woops! I am dating a married man, too. I miss him and think of him all the time. Have I fallen for him? Maybe. The only thing is that I don't have sad feelings, though. I know some of you don't agree with me. He is married, but he does provide me lots of happniess and fits my current busy schedule greatly. His presence makes me believe that there are excellent men in this world, I and him just don't have a fate. But, there are other men. And, he does boosts my energy toward other areas of my life. And, I knew this is just an affair, but I think it's beautiful,too. I did not take him for his money or fame, but purely love. Of course, life is complicated and exciting! Things happens! So what? Don't look down on your self because of this..You will know yourself better next time when you meet your Mr. right! My point is everything has a bright site and try to get the most of it and be strong! good luck! believe in love!

I know the typical scenario... that he's just using me to get his needs met ect, but what if that's not the case? Couldn't it be possible for someone to make a mistake, to marry the wrong person? We hadn't met each other when he got married. I know I was engaged and almost made the mistake of marrying another guy. Isn't it possible that true love can come along late? He was so depressed, I hadn't heard him laugh in months, and now since we've been romantic friends (non-physical) he's been smiling, laughing, and both of us our enjoying life more. I do have certain moral qualms about taking things to the next level, but doesn't love conquer all?

hey, i loved what you had to say. I'm 18, and ive been dating this guy for about 11 months, i feel like we are so good for eachother, I know i'm young, but i think i'm really in love, i know this doesn't have to do with anything you said, but i just really liked what you had to say. thanks

leave him he will hurt you he should be woth you know your just a piece of ass wake up hun

i'm currently dealing with a similar situation...i love him with all my heart and he feels the same but it's so hard sometimes.

please dont allow it , stop it as soon as possible before it get too far and out of control, u owe it to urself girl,

hey my married man is getting the altematen big time if they lie to there wife they will lie to u well see be very cautious girls

Its amazing the number of women in love with married man. I am one of you. I really hope i can break out of this. I have been in this for 3 years now. It just never gets better. Maybe im just weak. I guess the only way is to break all contact. Wish you all luck.

lol im 18 and was love wit a married man. asked him to leave his wife if he wanted, he said, he'd do it..but haven't seen anything for over a year. but at the same tiem, woudln't live me, i finally attempted suicide, and let him know, i do love him, but i just aint willing to be his side dish whenever he feels like it to use me

It's good to know that atleast I am not alone on this tho it feels it at times. I dated a married man for 2 years. I didn't know until 6 months into the relationship that he was married with 2 kids. I guess everyone knows how it makes you feel to find that out. After 2 years we broke up - he knew it wasn't fair to me but we were / are so in love. We were apart for 4 years tho we never lost touch. We emailed from time to time and had I received the occasional phone call from him. I thought about him everyday. He says he did the same. Last september, after losing contact for about a year, he called me at work outta the blue and we have been back together ever since. Before, I was younger and its almost like things didn't bother me much then but now I get it...and I am so in love with him but at the same time I am crying everyday because the one person I love more than anything who claims the same about me is the one person hurting me so badly. I know what I should do, we ALL know what we should do but I don't know how to find the strength to do it. Losing all contact with him would just break my heart. I feel like such an emotional wreck lately.

my dear its only a matter of time that u will realise that u have been used as a sex material and comforting zone of problems. he doesnt love u like the way u love him ,it not fair to love and not to be loved back , so wake up darling there are real handsome men waiting for u out there, ur such a young person, who is vibrant and sexy to get any single man out there.get out of that relationship while u stil can i know is hard my dear i have been there, i came to this site and found advise from this site so im now living a free life from my married man, i gut a new boyfriend who loves me completely and believes in me,so the same can happen to u,but only if u try it

i have been seeing a married man for about two years now and we have a little baby together he is 4 months old and this guy has been promising me for two years that he would leave his wife and he still hasnt what should i do?

my dear what i can tell u is that , that guys he doesnt love u and he will never leave his wife for u, no matter u have a child with him, how long have he been promising u to leave his wife? do enjoy calling him at certain times and other times u dont have to call?times like when is with his family, ur just his mistress and ur helping him to comfort himself when his life is up sidesown. please do u baby and urself a baby, get a guy who loves u and who will move the mountain for u, having a baby with him wont change anything between u.take ur life to the nesxt level ,if he loves u he will follow, my dear i know is not easy it is hard, i have been there and i know the feeling, ur baby needs a father and ur the only one who can make sure that ur baby is fathered,being a father to a baby doesnt mean u have to be related by blood, u can be a sperm donor and not be the father, so move while ur baby is still youngs so u can find a the new father. why did u have to bear such crisis?u owe urself much, so make it up to urself and find happiness, dont be scared to be alone, ur baby needs ur well being more than he needs u. do whats best for both of u. u dont wana hurt another woman, or complicate ur life

u shuld move on with ur life for the sake of ur own happiness and ur baby,he is not worth the trouble u have been through ,,, raising ur baby without the father in the house. think about it, ur the only one who is responsible for ur own happiness, i hate the fact that u allow someone to hurt u and yet u agree to settle for less. my dear they are lot of young single guys out there who need u and u trapped urself in a cage. plz set urself free.let go, i know it hurts but it wont last.he cheated his wife with u and believe me i can tell u that there are some other ladies that he is cheating with except u. so u dont wana get HIV/AIDS from him. ur life is worth more than anything in this world, plz wake away and while is still early so u may not regert for the rest of ur life,

see when i first met him he told me he was planning on getting a divorce but we were just friends in the beginning and it turned out to be more than that and i have never loved a person as much as i love him if hes not with me im constantly thinkging about him and the funny part is is that his wife knows that me and him have a baby and that he cheated on her and she is still with him but he told me that he has never cheated on a woman until now and that he should of never mariied her cause he wasnt inlove with her she was just good to him and she wanted to get married not him and he promises me that hes going to leave her this summer and be with me and our baby but i dont really believe anything till i see it cause he has been telling me for 2 years now that he was gonna leave her and he still hasnt

At my age, I should know better than to be a part of this group, but sometimes love comes as a surprise. We have been business friends for a few years then one day realized that we are in love. I know nothing about his marriage but I don't think it is unhappy. We see each other when possible; phone, and email everyday, and fantasize how we'd like it to be. We treasure our friendship so the physical part will end soon so that we may keep the loving friendship. He'll stay married, we'll stay friends and I'll eventually have a love relationship, with a single man, because I now know that I want that in my life. He reminded me how wonderful it is to love and be loved by a wonderful man - I'm sure he's not the only one out there!!!!

Just an example from my experience. A friend of mine was seeing a married man and she was very unhappy. He said he would leave his wife but didn't. She asked me for advice and I said to give him an ultimatum: he left his wife or he stopped seeing her. It took a few months without communication between them, then he did divorce his wife, they are now together and both very happy. If he had not been prepared to leave his wife it would basically be a way of saying: You come second place in my life. No-one should settle for that. If he really loves you not his wife, or himself (!) best, then he will make the right decision. It takes courage but is the only solution unless you are prepared to live in constant uncertainty or else to always take second place (or even third). Good luck out there.

Thanks ladies! This is helping me a lot...I am in the same boat currently. I have been in a relationship with a married man (I myself am also married). We work together. He of course is older than I am. His excuse for staying...waiting until his teenage daughters finish high school, which should be about 3 years from now. He claims that his wife and he are just going through the motions and they are talking about divorce after the kids finish school. He tells me he loves me, can't live without me, I'm his soulmate. He wants to be with me and raise a family. I have been reading website after website and I know that all of what he says is just talk, but it is killing me to think about leaving him alone. I ask myself everyday what is the purpose of this relationship, how could it ever go anywhere? As sson as I think about telling him goodbye, he does something that keeps holding me back. He claims that he has never done anything like this before, but I want to know what makes me so special that after all these years, he found his soul mate in me. The part that is rough the most is that I tell myself all of these things...the same things that are being said here...but I find it so unbearable to leave. Its crazy. But this feels so good to finally be able to talk to someone else about this...I really needed this...

I am currently in a long-term relationship and have just come out of a five month fling with a friend, who happens to be married with a kid on the way.

I am not proud of the relationship and in fact it has caused me a lot of grief. However, we have had a crush on each other for years and years and the man in question has made advances to me on several occasions before he got married two years ago.

During our relationship, I discovered I had very deep feelings for him and the chemistry was just perfect between us. We'd meet up in town about 6pm and stay out till 4/5am just so we could be together, wherever it was. We ended up falling in love with each other. This has to some extent nearly ruined our friendship. The wife is now due to give birth and they are moving away soon after.

My relationship with my partner has suffered to the point that I became withdrawn and distracted. I no longer have sexual feelings towards him either. Because of this, I told him what was going on and he freaked.

I have now ended the relationship with the married man. He said anyway that he was looking forward to having his child and wouldn't leave his wife 'out of responsibility for her and the expected child'. He has not told his wife of the affair and seems to have got away from this whole thing a lot better than me.

I am now in a situation where I am having a put together the pieces of my life. My partner and i are in difficulties and I have lost an important friendship, which will never be the same again.

My advice on having a relationship with a married man is this: if he is not prepared to leave his wife/family within the first three months of the relationship developing, the chances are he will not leave his wife at all. Irrespective of whether he is happy with her or not. If this occurs, your time is being wasted and time is precious.

Try and find somebody else to tail off the harmful relationship. The more emotional energy you pour into making positive changes, the more power you will then hold overall.

You guys just gotta stop b4 u get hurt.

I fill really bad for ya and i hope your life gets better in the future.

HI LADIES , I RECENTLY WAS DATING A MARRIED MAN FOR 5 MONTHS BUT I HAD NO IDEA HE WAS MARRIED UNTILL HIS WIFE CALLED ME , OVER THESE MONTHS I HAVE DEVELOPED STRONG FEELINGS FOR HIM. I LOVE HIM , AND I AM HURTING , BECAUSE HE DECIEVED ME AND LIED AND TOLD ME EVERYTHING I WANTED TO HEAR, I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE WITH HIM OR HIS LIES , AFTER ME AND HIS WIFE SPOKE ON THE PHONE , I HAD NOT SPOKEN TO HIM IN 3 OR 4 DAYS, BUT FINALLY HE CALLED ME AND ALL HE COULD SAY WAS THAT HE WAS SORRY AND HE DIDNT MEAN TO HURT ME THAT I MADE HIM HAPPY AND THAT HE CARES ABOUT ME , I KNOW THAT IT IS A LIE BUT I WANT SO BAD TO BELIEVE HIM , I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT HIM EVERYDAY , ALL DAY I CANT SLEEP OR EAT , AND I REALLY WANT HIM BACK , AND NOW THAT I KNOW HE IS MARRIED IT WILL BE WRONG FOR ME TO PERSUE HIM , BUT I LOVE HIM , AND I WANT TO BE WITH HIM , LADIES WHAT SHOULD I DO?

I'm also happy I found this site. I've been going out with a married man for five months. I know I should've asked him more questions. My friend who introduced me to him had told me when I asked her if he was married that he was, but that they were just together for their kid who is five. By that I assumed they each agreed to see other people. I told him before seeing him that I wasn't looking for a fling but a serious relationship. First two weeks he would spend time with me, and after that it was less. I realized then he was sneaking from his wife and he wasn't in the situation I had supposed he was. I told him I was going to leave the relationship because I didn't want to spend my life sharing someone, breaking a family or sneaking around. He said he loved me and he would work something out but nothing's happened. He says to wait about 5 years. He's getting his ph degree, (plus his wife makes twice the moeny I make) and he's helping out his nieces through college in South Africa. I doubt his love sometimes but then I try to understand he's not in a situation to leave his wife right now. He says he doesn't love her and he thanks me for making him believe in love again. It's difficult now to let go because I developed strong feelings for him and he knows it. I do want to leave but I can't seem to find the strenght. I asked him why he walked into my life if he knew his situation? He says he didn't think, he just followed his emotions. I'm so mad too, I feel like talking to his wife about it to clear my doubts.

hi, all i am too in love with a married man, he is 10 years older then me. i have a son he has a baby who is 1 years old, a daughter 12 and a older son from the first marriage who is 16. we started off as such great friends, talking all the time this has been going on and off for over 5 months. i am not married but i have been with the same man for 15 years/ i fell head over heals for him, just talking to him and the things he use to say to me made me feel so special. him and his wife have not been getting along way before me so he says he has broken my heart over 4 times and he just did this again tonight. we spent a whole night together last night talking and hanging out, things were great then all of a sudden he ran cold on me. again. i am so upset right now but i know i am better then he is. he didn't even have the balls to tell me he wrote a letter to me and left it in my car door. how do you do this to someone you love. or say you do. i felt guilty all these months not only to my partner but his wife i put her in my shoes and i know that would be devasting. i told him time after time before then to stay with her but each and every time they would fight or not work something out he would run to me. not anymore... like i said i am better than that. so if this would help any of you i have never had a broken heart like the one i do have right now, i don't know if it is broken or i am just mad. the only thing that really sucks out of this is we work together and i have to see him once in a while but i will not give him the time of day anymore. and to top it all off what kind of women would keep taking her husband back after he told her he is in love with another woman and that we made love. i should as hell would not. i learned from this mistake. good luck to you all and if you are thinking about it or involved get out before you feel the pain and resentment that i do right now.

I apologize for my english, it is not very good.

Me too. I'm in love with a MM. I met him @ work, about two years ago. I knew since day one that he was engaged to this girl, and that he was going to marry her soon. In fact he did, and I even went to his wedding.
At first, he was just a friend. I did not even like him. We started chatting on i.m, and as the good flirter he is, he began decoding the way to reach my heart, and boy he reached it fast!!!!
We've never kissed nor have sex, it is all platonic love. I know he likes me, and now more than ever I have fall for him like crazy. All I can think is to kiss him and have sex with him, but he doesn't dare to initiate an approach, and neither do I. All we do is talk, talk, talk on instant messaging, and he blows my mind. He is so freaking smart that he controls me. He knows what I think, what I want. Sometimes I feel am his hamster and he plays with me as he wants. During this time, i have been able to get away from him, stop talking, but after a while, he starts talking again, and being nice, and it kills me!!!
It kills me more, because i'm a strong woman who has fight really hard in life. I'm only 26, but I have always been strong, and i have never let any guy mess up with me like that, so why i'm I letting him do this? I'm angry. very angry.

I have been deeply involved with a married man for three years now. Crunch time came when he gave me too many deadlines for leaving his wife and yet no sign of. i went round to his house, told his wife everything. his wife collapsed in tears and begged me, "please, he's my husband, the love of my life, would you please mind leaving him alone?"

well, you can imagine how enraged I was to be spoken to with a request like that. i took one look at her and punched her so hard she flew back against her refrigerator. ladies, we can all agree, when wives ask you to