Males in my life... help?

I really don't know where to turn with this:

I've never known my real father. All I know now is that he is dead, so nothing can be done about that. My early male "father figure" was my grandfather, who passed away two months before I began high school. I had one step father from first grade until fifth grade who promptly signed off his parental rights to my half brother. I was molested (I suppose? Not raped..) sometime between fourth and fifth grade by my best friend's grandfather. I told her, but she didn't believe me, so I haven't told anyone (except my present boyfriend of four years) about it since then.

That's my history of male interaction in a nutshell.

I've had an ongoing history of needing to have a boyfriend at all times. I suppose I want someone to protect me. Also, most of my friends now are male... I can't seem to connect very well with girls for some reason.

I don't know what I'm asking for here... Understanding? A possible link to my mental being? No idea. Anything would help.

I thik your problem is that you haven't relly connected with any man for a long period in life apart from your boyfriend. And from your history it sounds like you have been through alot for you to trust anyone. But try to give peole a chance don't shut people out imediatly but also don't take shit lol but still your a nice person build up your confidence and be true to your self but try and mix with different sexes in a friendly way.