Re: Hoping you'll help me shake off my comfusion

Hello;

before I start writing of the specific dilemma I have, I feel you need to know a bit of my background. I am in my early 20s, an university student,and am really not the type of person to get paranoid about things and blame others for my failures. However, I've had a recent experience so shocking that I couldn't help wondering is the person in question has a mental disorder.

Oh, the cliche - my question is regarding a girl.

We met each other through common friends two and a half years ago, when we were both fresh out of highschool, and we(at least, I thought so) had a thing going from the very beginning - as were constantly flirting and giving "signals", but I did not try to start a relationship with her as I had a girlfriend at the time.
What has attracted me about her is her charm and outgoing personality, but what knocked me off my feet was when he talked with me about some deeply personal issues about only a few days of knowing here - I felt it was a bit bizarre but, on the other hand, I was flattered that she had such trust in me.
I was constantly warned by friends who knew her for a longer time that most of the things I hear from her are just a part of her "public image" as she has an excessive need of being liked by very much every creature to have ever walked the Earth - but, for some reason, I thought that they were all wrong and that I could see what is inside of her. Her care for what others think was even stranger having in mind that she seemed to enjoy talking about people behind their backs, but has seldom engaged in face to face arguments with people - however, I was willing to overlook all this as I was blinded by her other qualities.
When college started, her personal life has changed a lot, as she became excessively dedicated to her academical obligations - sacrificing most of her personal life, and often using a number of energy drinks to keep herself awake in order to have what she thought was "enough" time for studying. She used to (and still does, actually) complain to people about her having absolutely no social life at all, sacrificing it all for her college etc. but in reality she shown very little interest in doing something to change her way of living.
Moreover, we've both moved to another town after going to college, and in her new environment, she had hardly any friends - she did make one good friend in her university group, but has fallen apart with her somewhere in December last year(2007). She claimed to be very sorry for losing the friend(which was female, btw), but did very little(nothing) to try and improve the situation.
I've finally decided to make my move with her ten days ago, on her birthday party - she made a small gathering which included around 10 of her university colleagues as well as myself. I happened to be very good friends with a girl from her university and we spent most of the time together. During our chit chat, the birthday girl has approached us, and I started telling a story(with obvious intentions) of two of our friends who had two years of "warming up" before engaging in what is now a very steady and loving relationship, and I've intentionally underlined the similarities that existed between their stories and ours. When I finished my "speech", she replied "Ha, maybe we should do it, too. However, I would never make the first move." Shocked, I asked her to repeat the last line, but she just said: "Nothing, I was just talking to myself", smiled, and walked away. I needed no other invitation to make my move, and I stayed until the very end of the party, when we were alone, and asked her if she wanted us to be together, only to find out that: "She doesn't know and that she'll tell me in a week." I was absolutely flabbergasted for getting a "maybe" after such an obvious invitation, but acted as a gentleman, told her that I truly care about here and that I'll give her all the time in the world to make up her mind. And that's when the horror started. Although we had an agreement(which was her idea), to stay in constant contact, she seemed to evade all of my attempts to reach her in the following days. After three of four days of fruitless SMSing and calling(not that I did it excessively or something, 2-3 messages and 1-2 calls per day), I told her that I fully understand that she wants nothing with me(although I was absolutely stunned for receiving such childish behavior from someone I thought I knew), but that it would be a great relief to me if I could only hear from her, as what she's doing is so imaginable to me that I need a confirmation that nothing has happened to her. I promised not to ask her anything about "us" or say anything which would make her uncomfortable(she knows I wasn't lying, I am really a man of my word), but I got no response from the other end.

Finally, she decided to break her silence today via email(?!?) after ten days, and told me that she has a lot of college obligations these days and that she knows that her behavior is terrible, but that she really can't help it. She added that she is unable to think about anything these days, and apologized for "ruining a few days of my life."

Needless to say, her response has shocked me as much as her behavior and lack of any empathy for me. When I asked her about the obvious "signal" she gave me, she claimed that she had no memory of saying something like that - leaving me with an inevitable conclusion that she just manipulated me for fun. Finally, I've sent her a long email explaining that I am shocked that I needed so much time to realize some things about here which everyone else have already realized, and have also written a whole lot of other stuff, pointing out some of her ruthless actions aimed towards me(I haven't covered 20% of it here :) ) and others, as well as some aspects of the "friendship" we had which I now believe were fake. Five minutes ago, I got a phone call from her, she was absolutely furious, but, check this out, the reason for her anger was that she "Can't believe others are talking things about her" and wanted to know what were people saying about her.
All in all, I am so stunned by her true personality, manipulativeness and reactions to other people's emotions that I simply cannot help thinking that she has some sort of a mental disorder - her actions are just to different than anything I've stumbled across during my short life.
To sum it up, do you think that the person in question could have a mental condition and what could it be, or am I just being paranoid here? :)
All the best,
"Hound dog"