Re: im in love with a married man

im sixteen years old. i had one boyfriend in 6th grade. and been single ever since. i don't like relationships, im a free spirit. but in 7th grade i met this guy whos parents are pretty much my parents best friends. he is eighteen and had a girlfriend. i called him my cousin for the longest time, although deep down i thought he was just gorgeous. then last summer he called me and asked if he could come over but it was 11 at night and i had school the next morning. i thought about sneaking him in. but his girlfriend just had a baby. but then agian he said he didn't want to marry her and that it was a mistake. so i let him come over. we didn't do anything. but the next couple times i sneaked him in they got intense and i was falling for him. we broke it off as summer ended. and then in october he married his girlfriend of 5 years whom he had a baby with. in the mean time i messed around with one of my moms friends husbands, who 13 years older than me, making him 29. and a few other taken guys. i know its bad but i can help it. but anyways he 18 yerar old called me a few days ago and asked if i wanted to hang out. it was 1 in the morning. so i left my house knowing i had school he next day. once agian we didn't have sex. im still a virgin. he said he would do it with me, except he wants me to find someone special. he told me he didn't want things to get too serious between us. b/c he doens't know if he wants to take his marriage seriously yet. i want to have sex with him. i think he is the one for me. and as i write this i know i sound psynical but im not.