I was diagnosed with depression when i was 10, started shop lifting and had moods varying between aggresive towards family, manic wildness and utter depression. At the age of 10 i started cutting. I am now 39 and was diagnosed with bipolar 2 yrs ago. Then undiagnosed confusingly. My main personality i would discribe as introverted, i have a huge problem talking about feelings and emotions and never told my mother how horrible i was feeling as a child, or even now.However i have an extreme extroverted personality with morals(esp. sexual) that i disagree with. Does that make sense?
My moods are moving very fast at the moment, the worst bein a very scarey edgey and strangely energetic depression. Also when ever i get ill i start tripping and feel no connection with my body or surroundings, sometimes i feel more real than anyone and sometimes less real.I also get unexplained adrenalin rushes. I find it hard to talk but have been very ill on meds. Lithium i workedout to much on, lamotragine they took me up too quick, olanzapine i put on wt which exsasberated my depression and poor self image, and anti psychs made me trippy like i get when im ill, and also too tiree to look after my daughter. I am a single parent ( not suprisingly really).i know this is complicated, i darent go to dr for fear of more meds but i would value your opinion.Could therepy help me or is my condition/s to biologically based and meds the only answer? i hope you can spare the time. Thankyou