Childhood physical, mental and sexual abuse effects on adulthood

I am 58 years old. When I was a child (7) my sisters frequently molested me (analy), my older brother alowed a homesexual to molest me (orally), I wassexually molested (fondeled) by a patron in a movie theatre and a clothing store salesman. My father was an alcoholic and left when I was three. My mother often beat me, locked me in my room and often told me I was a horrible child and never seemed to care much for me even in adulthood.
Today I feel horrible most of the time. I have been a drug abuser off and on most of my life. I have been married for 32 years and love my wife. I know I have put her thru hell. I often have difficulty in other relationships which create problems in my life. I have internalized my feelings of rage. I often feel like getting even with those who create problems in my life. I do not act out on these thoughts. I am tired of waking up and feeling horrible about myself and it seems to be getting worse. These effects are killing me slowly. Please help. What should I do? I have health insurance.
Thanks for listening. I am in the washington, D.C. area.

Read our articles about molestation.

As you have health insurance, I suggest that you invest in psychotherapy.