Strange behavior in 14 year old boy

I am divorced with 3 children in my care. A 14 years old boy and 13 and 11 years old girls. For the past 3 years (since the start of middle school), my son has been exhibiting behavior I fail to understand. There always appears to be a problem with him. He gets mad for not getting his way (sometimes even for no apparent reason) and when he gets mad, he destroys our property. He throws tv remotes, phones, he punched a hole in the wall, he hits his sisters and he cusses at them as well.

He is very reclusive and does not want to participate in any family activities unless it is something of his choice and everybody else adjusts to him. He always tries to excuse his bad behavior by questioning me and usually ends with accusation that I don’t love him. I came to live in constant tension about his outbreaks and my daughters are afraid to stay home alone with him.

I know that teenagers want their freedom and try to establish their own identity, however, I really don’t understand why he doesn’t seem to care at all about us. He never does anything positive on his own. The only way I get him to take care of his responsibilities is if I take away his social life. Although that makes him do his homework and chores, it doesn’t make him care. Is this normal? Does he need help? I’m worried that he will do something unfixable and ruin his life in the future.

Contact a child psychiatrist. It sounds very serious that he does not care.

Letter from a reader:I agree, I'm 24 now and married. My brother was very much like that when he was younger. He did regular chores and was a regular kid but had the tendencies that you describe.My parents didn't know it but he was very curious with females at 3/4 years old on through adulthood. I'm still not sure it was innocent and I have a horrible view of little boys. I was blessed with 2 little girls, no offense but you can see why I have this opinion. He would get very angry and throw things, he broke windows, punched holes in the walls, stayed closed up in his room, etc. He did have decent friends and didn't seem like a bad kid from an outside point of view. His curiosity was damaging. His anger was kind of scary. He has been with a girl for 8 years and has 2 kids, his relationship is a wreck, his financial situation is a complete disaster and he's always getting into trouble. My sisters and I are very happy and are well. It wasn't the way he was raised, it wasn't anyone's fault but he desperately needed help. He never got it and now it's probably too late. I agree, have him see someone about this immediately before it gets out of hand. His anger could get him into trouble with the law if it keeps going like this. he could possibly lose the opportunity at a good relationship because of his anger. Get him help to control his anger. And tell your girls that they can tell you anything. At that age, I still don't think I would have because it's embarrassing but they can write a letter to you if they are embarrassed. You know, I may be overreacting in some people's view, but I've been there and I believe your better safe than sorry.