When talking about the psychological causes of not wanting sex, we
refer to those thoughts, feelings or emotions that reduce the interest in
sex. Because of fear and anger, sexual desire can disappear in certain
situations. This may have several causes e.g fear of performance, fear of
intimacy, fear of excitement, dissatisfaction with one's own body or
suppression of events from childhood. Traumatic experiences can have a lot
of influence on sexual desire. Sad experiences that haven't been dealt
with, like the loss of a partner, nagging and conflicts in relationships
can influence sexual desire negatively. Relational problems are often a
cause. For all sorts of reasons, partners may become physically and
personally less attractive to each other. Differences in sexual needs and
the refusal of partners to respond to advances can lead to doubts about the
self-image of the man, the woman or the self-image as the beloved partner.
Certain irrational thoughts, like refusing to have sex is the same as
admitting an affair, can lead to a great disappointment or anger. A
reduced interest in sex is also a frequent symptom of various psychiatric
syndromes. The most frequent syndrome is depression.
Men and women experience sexual desire in a different way. Women see
love, emotional intimacy and involvement as a goal, while men see sexual
activity as the goal. Other factors can also negatively influence desire
e.g psychological problems of the partner, stress and/ or relational
problems. In the first meetings a sexologist will ask about these
possible causes, so that your condition may be identified.