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Afraid of being Rejected; Afraid He Does Not Like Me

Written by: Gunborg Palme, certified psychologist and certified psychotherapist, teacher and tutor in psychotherapy.
First version: 22 Jul 2008. Latest version: 22 Jul 2008.

Abstract:

You cannot live being afraid. People who are more daring get more out of life.

Question:

I have problems talking to my boyfriend he thinks i'm not interested in him, when in reality i am I just have a hard time expressing my self for fear of being rejected. I am afraid he does not like me because of this. How can I overcome this?

Answer:

Would it be easier for you to write him a letter? Could you possibly show him your letter to me?

It is not easy to cure shyness. Often, it's a lifelong condition that keeps you from getting as much from life as more outgoing individuals. It's easier to get what you want out of life if you are daring. But it is true that many shy people get less afraid with time.

You say that you are afraid of feeling rejected, but in fact it's your boyfriend who's feeling rejected because you're not showing enough interest and affection.

You can't live life being afraid. You have to do things, even if they frighten you. It's like parachute jumping - you feel great anxiety and don't really know where you are going to land. Did you make a fool of yourself, or will everything turn out okay?

Whenever you think positive and loving thoughts about your boyfriend, speak them out loud, without thinking first. Take the risk of being rejected instead of rejecting him. And I promise, you will not be rejected! People happily receive all the love they can get.

More information
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